Lovesick

Why do I bother? says:
I've had bad experiences in relationships...really bad. But then again so have you. Every time...every single time, no matter what...No matter how much he says he loves me, he...pretty much, just goes off with someone else. I've learned that. I've also learned that boys are predictable. Once you get to know them, they're completely different from what you first saw.
Why do I bother? says:
(don't say anything yet, just read)
Why do I bother? says:
So, to counteract...I write poetry. And sing. And talk, with other people, and learn from them.
Why do I bother? says:
But, sometimes, once people know me...Really know me, and can predict my next move...it freaks me out. No one really does, I don't think, so I'm safe for now. But, when I...Start to like someone..I open up. Bit by bit. Because my mind, get tricked into thinking time and again, that'll this one's different...that it's real this time. It almost never is..
Why do I bother? says:
To me...Humour keeps me safe. Anger keeps me safe. Love doesn't.

oVeR

I can't believe this happened
It's not reality
It can't be
Someone wake me up...
please...

A tear falls slowly
and I blink it away
It drops and lands.

For a moment,
For an eternity,
I wait for you
to wipe that shimmering pain
away...

But its been too long,
You're not cooperating.
I reach down
and wipe it away for you,
every nerve in my body
screaming
at you to wake up.

Instead of touching you,
My hands finds cold marble...
An unresponsive stone.
This can't be it,
This can't be real...

I draw my hand away,
and someone nods,
Leading me away gently.

Luv,
This hurts so much...

But I only flinch a little
when the coffin closes.

Accidents

It was an accident. I swear I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to get so mad, and I didn't want this to happen at all. It was just one cut and the knife wasn't even that sharp...I couldn't feel it at all; I only pushed a little harder. I didn't mean for this at all...But I couldn't stop it. There was too much blood. I tried to call for help but I was drowning. No one heard me. The red sea was everywhere. I tried to fight it to reach the surface, to keep breathing. The bleeding had to stop eventually...and I guess it did...I'm so sorry...

Plays

I asked you to stop.
You didn't listen,
You wouldn't hear it.
So I asked you again.
2
3
4
5 times.
Yet you stuck to the part,
taking up the role
of the ignorant fool
in the play that is our lives.

Missing you

I'm scared
I can't find you anywhere...
What if you
broke your promise...?
Did you?
Tell me you didn't!
Oh god...
Someone help me...

I miss you
I really do.
But I don't
want you back
Just not quite yet...
Hold on
just a little longer...
I'm coming back,
and I'll try
my hardest to ignore
the little things...

I'm here for you,
I'm back again...
We can be friends,
but if you try
anything
I'll vanish again.

Angst (Unsure)

We are the unseen,
the unheard ones.

We pity
and attempt to heal.

but bandages
can only cover wounds...

So we cover...
And heal temporarily.

like a soothing breeze
on tortured skin...

What happens
when the bandages
are torn off?

Ripping away
what little may have healed...
When the blood flows

more freely than ever...

Wounds, gashes, cuts, injuries...
All start appearing...

again

Do we become the unseen
again?
Try to start over?

Or do we attempt
to bandage
once more..?
Try to stop the flow
With wild eyes,
Filled with fear,
And no control...
With blood soaked hands?

How do we call for

"Help..."

...?
Who do we turn to?
Who sees you?

The few who do...
That understand...
They understand too well.
Startling us with
what we cannot

see

"Is the blood real?"
They question...

Who do you turn to
In a perfect world
In a happy world...
In a world where you are unseen?
In a world where

...wounds...
...gashes...
...cuts...
...injuries...

Are not common.

ARE
NOT
REAL!


This is the stuff of nightmares.



-...what a way to live...in constant fear...yet torn between what we believe is true and what we've been shown is true...-