Random

The sky is black
and tainted with sorrow.
A fatal warning-
the sun will not rise for me tomorrow.

Comparing Depression to Drowning...:S

Going through depression is like fighting the waves, trying to get back to shore. They crash over you, overwhelming painful events, sending you careening down, into the depths. The cold waters suck at your energy, draining away any will to kick back to the surface. Suddenly, there's a break in the cruel buffeting of the waves. Your head breaks free, a deep breath filling your lungs. For a brief second, you have energy, you feel alive, and you see shore. But just as you see the end to this torment, an escape, another wave crashes down on you, and you're pushed back down into darkness again.

About all the poems:

All the poems I posted today were either updated with edits, or taken out of my previously un-posted file and thrown out here. I didn't write them all today, though I wish I was that fluent with writing. :)

-Andrea

Rain

Ever since that day
Every time I see the rain
I love it just that much more.

How it cascaded
Suddenly poured down
Upon us, making the seal between our hands something more.

How much “goodbye” was awkward
With the unspoken want of which that we both knew.

How it was sudden,
So beautifully reckless,
And just how much you smiled afterwards.

The pride,
That certain glee...
And the wonderful afterglow that kept me smiling for an hour.



*for you

Smeph's Letter + My Reply

I miss talking to you
maybe you do too
I have not felt the need to cry so often, for so long
I want to be happy again
please don’t stay mad at me
you’re in complete control of this
I don’t want to hear all this silence anymore.

but it’s your choice
You and I need to talk
There is still so much to say
the crime I have
committed was to protect you
I knew you’d get mad
at us, at this
even if I told you straight out, after it happened
you’d still be mad...

I broke a promise, a big one, and you feel you cannot forgive it
It’s okay, I get it.
and if you want me out and gone
of your life...I think I could understand.

I know that this is a huge deal to you
But please, your lectures are carving wounds, deep and hard,
And all I want now is to be free of this ache.

All I Need

10 cuts, and I’ll be beautiful.
10 more, I’ll be smart.
50 later, and I’ll be thin.
100 cuts and you’ll love me.
1000 blood droplets,
Staining my floor,
And I’ll be caught.

Burgundy

love of blood
love at first sight
tiny, crystalline balls
roll down
and
away
red velvet
slides down my limb
one more stroke,
one more slash
and consider me gone.
floating away
on a sea
of red
red warmth...
red velvet in liquid form.

You're Away

Tell me exactly who
I should run to
Confide in
When the one I used to
Has gone away.

Who do I run to
With my girlish secrets
With all my foolish cares
With all my budding hopes?

Whose ear do I whisper softly in
About romance?
First kisses?
Teenage crushes?

Whose arms will envelope me
When life suddenly becomes too much to bear?

And Through...'til Autumn

Leaves will fall,
Temperatures will drop,
The winter coats will be put on,
And, eventually, winter will have to come.
But for the time being,
Enjoy autumn.

Go to the park,
Stroll through,
Watch and see,
And be awed by the beauty.
Go to the park.
Where...

Lips will smile,
Cheeks will flush in crisp air,
Throats will talk,
And hands will hold another.

Nod with agreement,
Understand,
And wonder
Why you never realized that...

That smile makes a stranger happy,
That flush brings back childhood memories,
That talk describes a beautiful autumn,
And that touch makes you smile.

Go home,
Survive winter,
Spring,
Summer...

End up back at autumn,
And smile to yourself,
Before you head out
For a lovely stroll in the park.

Hey you-

hey you
I know what’s going
all through your head
those crazy thoughts,
you know,
the ones we always laughed at
those crazy thoughts
those inside jokes
and I’m on the outside now
outsider
man, what a feeling...

Sweet Suicide

Hey beautiful baby
permit me one last
final goodbye:
I can't imagine
not seeing you
for a hundred eternities.
I'll miss you, sweet thing,
you know I will
and you know how much too.
..how every day I would miss you,
not hearing your voice
not seeing your face
not feeling your touch
or tasting your butterfly kisses.
I miss you already.
I miss you..

On Wars

guns
pain
flickerings of horror
flit over the radio waves
and sink
deep into my ears
leeching away at any hope-
ful thoughts for a good day.


"You know that we have a problem when nuclear warfare becomes a dinner table topic.."

Heartbreak

..seeing the one you love
with someone else
...remembering that last kiss
with its sudden end
...speaking those harsh words
and actually never meaning them
...knowing what you should say
but holding it in

Growing Up

do you remember
when sixteen was ages away
and the allure
of that old chest,
filled with frilly hand-me-downs
wasn't something to be ashamed of?

do you remember
when you looked up to the 'big girls'
and when
lacey underwear
wasn't known to us?

do you remember
the bliss of no drama,
when boys had cooties,
and you would run through dandelion fields
away from them?

do you remember
when you didn't care
what you wore or how you looked
so long as it didn't keep you from being outside?

do you remember
the innocence of your childhood?
do you remember
the joy, the friends and all the skinned knees?

do you remember?
will you remember?
can you remember?

________me_________

Carving in my mistakes
Screaming out all my secrets
With a thousand different voices
Combined in a deadly chorus
That sinks in deep
Bleeding into my bones
And twists my thoughts

Deep Thoughts

may you never know what you have done
whose heart you have broken
whose dreams you have crushed
whose wings you have clipped


*Thanks to someone for telling me that they <3ed this poem. Made my day.