Babysitting

i think its funny...-
how kids can fall asleep
listening to the blasting radio
have their lights on
and the sheets
twisted completely around them.

its weird to remember
how i was once like them
sleeping peacefully,
a dreamy smile on my face..

how i used to dream,
about fuzzy slippers chasing me
and rainbows...
little kittens,
clambering all over me..

i can't remember
when the dreams started to change
metamorphed into black spiders
biting
posioning me...
when i saw my family
ripped away...
my screams falling on deaf ears

What is Love...?

Love is, something that is pure, and perfect; although, to outer world, it might be disgusting, and seemingly wrong.

Love is something that exists between two people, where gender is no matter.

Love is laughter…

Love is communication; and being able to discuss absolutely anything, with both sides understanding completely.

Love is fairy tale material even if it doesn’t end in a happy ending.

Love is deep and it is beyond first impressions.

Love is knowing who you are…and who they are.

Love is romantic dinners, nights out…and that special dance.

Love is your first crush, and your first kiss.

Love is…what you not expect.

Love is…
Love is…

Love is…love.

Beginnings..

Lightening cracked across the sky, illuminating the darkened sky for an instant. Emma winced and continued on her way home. It hadn’t started to rain, but she could feel it coming, and knew that she had to get home before the storm hit.

The sky was almost black, and the clouds were rolling into enormous thunderheads. Lightening struck out at a tree, just missing its target. Almost instantly thunder followed, proclaiming to the world that a nasty storm was heading their way very quickly.

Her red hair free of her old baseball hat, Emma spotted a bus just ahead of her. It had stopped for passengers to load, but she could tell that it wouldn’t be there for much longer. The bus driver could tell that the storm was almost here, and no doubt wanted to get back on the road. She ran forward, pushing her legs into fierce strides...

faceless

What I know of you frightens me,
What I don’t know intrigues me.
What I have I hate,
What I don’t,
I love.

Deceit

a web of constant lies,
deceit
and that of pain...

trapped
within what you thought was
complete heaven
and that which became
a hell…

this is truth
this is what you couldn't see
whence you were blinded
by what you thought
was love…

for every which way
you struggle and turn,
lies another trap
unknowingly set by yourself…

trapped...
tighter,
the thin words, tighten
about your throat…

this is your life
this is your web
it is your creation
and it is you
who must deal with it.

~~~cold~~~

I have felt Death’s touch…-

Trailing down my throat,
Tracing my collarbone,
Transforming my blood into ice…
So cold

I have seen never ending darkness…-

Known what true nothing feels like,
Unlocked questions,
And revealed devasting answers…
So cold

I have watched those I love be destroyed…-

Begged and pleaded for mercy,
Asked that their pain become my own,
Wept and implored when I was refused…
So cold

I have experienced pain so harsh I wished I had died…-

Physical pain meant nothing,
But when they stole my soul,
I knew I was lost…
So cold

I have been alone…-

My blood ice…Refusing to let me die…
My mind destroyed…Reeling with the concepts…
My hands stained…with the blood of my loved ones…
So cold

I have felt absolutely nothing
So cold...

I have seen nothing
So cold...

I have watched nothing
So cold...

I have experienced nothing
So cold...

I have nothing
So cold...

I am nothing
So dead...

Modern Day Angel

I sing no hyms,
speak of no prayer,
offer nothing to a higher power.

but yet,
I am an angel.

I walk the streets,
nameless and faceless in you,
the passerby's eyes.
I melt from your memory,
like the sun melts from the sky every night.

but seen by a few,
I am recognized as an angel.

I have sinned in the church's eyes,
betrayed the loyalty,
destroyed the trust.
I have enjoyed sins of the flesh.
I grow envious and jealous.
I curse, swear, and fight.

In other words,
I LIVE my life.
And for that...
I am an angel.

°.¸¸.·´¨`fallen´¨`·.¸¸.°

As we all mutter our goodbyes,
I step forward to take the first fall.
I step,
I plunge,
And crash below...
Below all of your hidden faces,
among all the masks,
looking down.
If I were able to look up,
To see through poisoned eyes,
To lift my twisted neck,
To call out through a stitched mouth...
I would not see compassion.
I would not see fear.
I would not see pity.
I would not see sadness.
I would see hidden faces,
Covered by masks,
Put on day by day,
and choosen so carefully...
I would see hidden faces,
Looking down.

wAr

screams,

of betrayal
of agonized pain
of mercy

Fill the air...

as the smoke rises

The village has been invaded,
Destroyed,
Innocent blood spilt.

the village has been set on fire,
and the blood of many men
women
children has been all but spent.

In enemy eyes
This is just another job...
To find.
To destroy.
They do not see

...the faces...
...the tears...
...the fears...

The sound of marching draws near,
And a mother tightens her grip.

on her dead
bruised
beaten
innocent
baby girl

Tears stream silently down her cheeks,
As she rocks back and forth,
Prepared to face death.

Prepared to face the end
That she knows draws near.

{banish me}

flickerings of the first candle,
the second,
the third,
the sacred three.

ink pouring on and over...
spelling out ancient rites,
poisoned words,
betrayals of the mind...

to banish.

silence.
meditation.
prayers to the goddess.
asking for forgiveness in this evil deed.

burned paper,
acrid smells...

melted wax,
burns the skin...

signifying the bonds broken.
ashes.
thin wafts of smoke.

sweeping away evidence.

life

To live is to die.
To see is to be blind to the horrors.
To taste is to never feel starvation.
To smell is to be free of the stench of sickness.
To hear is to be deaf to the screams.
To touch is to remain innocent.
To live is to die.

Unsent letters

I asked you once what would turn your love for me into anger. What would turns the tables, so that I would be the once begging for forgiveness. You answered slowly, unsure. How could you ever get mad at the one you truly love and need? Especially someone who is perfect...There was only one thing you said, which was cheating.

Sometimes I almost wish that you hadn't told me that; that I hadn't asked. That way I wouldn't feel any guilt when my emotions began to turn from you to another.

I know that you love me. I love you too. But I don't love you as much as you love me, and I doubt I ever could. This could probably destroy you if and when you find out. If I felt the need to apologize, then I would...But I don't regret my actions or emotions; it isn't my fault. It isn't anyones.

If there is one thing I would be sorry for, it would be the pain that this will cause you. I'm sorry.

-Jasmine

hearts turned, once faithful, forever and for always. fate does not consider us in his good favour. i beg for your forgiveness...for your understanding. i have always been there when you needed me. push me away; turn to other friends...learn to heal. i have poetry and religion to comfort me. please do not ask too many why questions...although i know that you deserve answers. the connection we once had, is distorted. it makes me uncomfortable. i am unable to read you; your emotions the same way i could before. somethings gone wrong. i could say sorry for an eternity, and i'm sure it wouldn't be enough. all i ask for is your forgiveness..

-Celest