Untitled (old poem)

it's odd
how i have
so many people
who love me..
but yet,
through all the support,
through all the helping hands,
trying to help me over life's obstacles.

it's apparent that
real happiness
evades me,
and will forever more.

life's experiences are all interpreted differently,
all seen different in the eye of the beholder.

what i say,
perhaps may help,
for a while,
give you a boost,
but in the end,
will hurt you...
more than you were before.

so,
i wear these masks,
day by day...
week by week....
year by year...
some of them smiling,
some with tears,
and i wait.

...for the day i don't have to pretend..