Relationships...

Just one small note on relationships.

I've noticed, that from every relationship I've had, I've taken/been given something that I will always have with me. They might be good or bad, but either way, they shape into who I am as a person.

My very first relationship, in grade four or so, was wonderful to me. It was blissful, and even when people found out, I was spared the endless ridicule because he was popular. He complimented me every day, and we would spend recess together with another couple. We would chase each other around, playing tag, and other childish games. Everything seemed perfect. But soon, the school year was over, and we had no idea if we would be in same class. It was frustrating because we would have a whole summer apart, and we did not know whether or not we would be together the next fall.I took from this relationship that boys can be wonderful, and understanding...But sometimes they lie. Also, on the last day of school, with the sun burning, I went into the city woods. I had promised him a special surprise. I had planned to kiss him. Standing nervously in the brush, just waiting for someone to accuse me, I made him close his eyes. I leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek. It wasn't until my Mom found out, that I learned "a peck" wasn't a big deal.

I've had other relationships, but I can't name them off in order. I've had ones with the class rejects, the social rejects, the popular crowd, and oh, shamefully, one of my friend's "ex"s.

But, with "rejects" comes friends. I have many friends that I wouldn't have had if I hadn't gotten to know them romantically.

With my friend's "ex" comes a very long story, that caused me many nights of tears, and also some things that won't fade for a long time.They hadn't really been going out, so I thought it was fine. It was all MSN. I should of realized something was up when he would barely talk to me in the halls. But those fears were all bypassed when we spent an afternoon together. It was winter, and there were snow banks all around. This guy sometimes used to walk home the way I did. So we got to talking.I had had the biggest crush on him, for the longest time. He was fun to hang around, and seemed to listen when you talked to him. I think that's what got me.

He pushed me into a snowbank when I said something. I can't remember what it was at the time. I laughed, and he pulled me up out the snowbank. Then I pushed him into one. He pulled me down somehow though, when he was falling, so I fell just beside him. I turned to look at him, and realized just how close we were lying together. I got up quickly, still laughing.It became almost a habit; us pushing the other into the snowbanks. It was so much fun.I think this was the first guy that I actually believed I loved...Everything we had talked about just fit so perfectly, and it...Just was perfect. Until...I can't remember what exactly happened, if it was me, or him, but suddenly, things started to fall apart...It was over MSN of course, and at first he told me it was his friend...Hacking in and messing around. After that happened a couple of times, everything fell apart completely.

We would get into constant fights, then one of us would apologize, saying that whatever we said wasn't true, and that we were sorry. He got me back at least 5 times that way, because...Oh, I really did love him.

Even as I write this, my heart aches...

Then it was over. Completely and totally. He liked someone else, and I was sitting there, alone.

And that's what I got out of my relationship...Heartbreak and pain that wouldn't fade. As well as the knowledge that fairy tale endings...As real as it may seem, eventually they come to an end too.